Smashy days are here again

MFC and I are planning to move in together and we have been looking for places to rent.

I found a place that looked OK; a little old, but within budget, and called the property manager up on Wednesday morning to find out more details.

WHAT A FREAKING MORON.

We haven't had an an9ie SMASH encounter for a while, so you regular readers will be happy.

The twisty-turvy conversation we had not only made me late for class, but also increased my blood pressure by about seven million units.

Let me re-enact the whole hilarious episode for you.

Ring-ring. Preliminary hellos and introductions and then I start to ask questions.

an9ie: I'm just calling about the property at XX Street. Is it still available?

Property manager dingbat (PM): Oh sure, we had a couple come through last night, but you can have a look at it.

an9ie: O ... K. Can I ask some questions about the property?

PM: Sure, go ahead.

an9ie: Does it have ADSL?

PM: (Long pause.) Ooh, I've never heard of that before. What is it?

an9ie: (You have got to be freakin' kidding me.) High speed internet.

PM: Wait, I'll just go and ask someone. (Longer pause.) I don't know, but the couple who were in there last were pretty old, so probably not.

an9ie: (Must ... not ... kill.) Well, is there a garden shed out the back for storage?

PM: There's a single lockup garage.

an9ie: (That was NOT an answer to my question.) So is there a garden shed?

PM: I don't know. I don't think so.

an9ie: (This is too hard. We're just going to have to find these things out ourselves.) Well, my partner and I both work full-time, so do you think we could come and see it around 6pm sometime this week?

PM: No, we don't have after-hours inspections.

an9ie: (Right, that's it, lady. I am going to hunt you down and make you into my next winter hat.) But you said you had a couple come through "last night"!

PM: Oh, that was at 4.30.

an9ie: (You think that 4.30pm is night time? Were your parents brother and sister?) What about the weekend?

PM: We don't do weekend inspections.

an9ie: (Is there anything you DO do, apart from waste precious oxygen?) OK, um, let me talk to my partner and we'll try to arrange a time.

PM: OK.

an9ie: OK. B-

... and the beyatch hangs up on me without waiting for me to finish! GRAAAAAH. an9ie SMASH.

Six reasons to move interstate

We went to the airport last night to pick up my uncle, who was on his way home after visiting his children in Melbourne.

They told us his flight arrived at 11pm.

The arrivals board told us the plane was due at 11.40pm.

There were delays and it landed at 12.05am instead.

Oh, and then they had to wait for the flight to Sydney to depart, so the Melbourne plane could dock. It was 1am by the time the passengers disembarked. I could hear the airport parking fees ringing up in my head, ka-ching! Ka-ching!

I would have been irate but then my uncle handed me this:


and I lifted the lid and saw these:

All is forgiven!

Krispy Kreme! For some reason Krispy Kreme thinks Perth is unworthy of its fried goods, and there is a growing trade in over-the-border doughnuts as people beg and bribe relatives and friends to bring them back from the eastern states.

We cut each one into eighths, and they tasted as good as they look.

I think I'll go treat myself to another wedge now.