Monday, May 05, 2008

Sugar + Dreams = Bad

After all those Crunchy Nut flakes, I watched an episode of Frasier 2, I mean, Back to You. It was the one where Chuck kept killing his goldfish. By accident of course, and it was very obviously a plastic fish. But still, the carnage was stored in my brain, and would emerge ... later.

That night, I dreamt that a new train station had appeared near my work. It had shiny shops so I went to check it out, but then found that there were only three platforms leading to three destinations: Creon, Clover and Greenleaf. Make of those names what you will, but none of them went to my home station. Besides, it was dark. I was annoyed.

Then Norm and his tank appeared out of nowhere and I had an urge to make his tank all nice and clean. While I was trying to maneouvre him out of the way, into a small container, someone jogged my elbow and I accidentally flipped him out of the tank.

He tore into two pieces and I started screaming when I saw his head and claws on the floor. Then I looked into the tank and all that was left was this weird white-meat tail with two little pale appendages scrabbling around the gravel. Like I'd shucked off his shell completely.

"Norm," I cried, "Are you OK? Is everything going to grow back? Or is this a chicken-with-its-head-cut-off thing?"

Scrabble, scrabble, went the two white limbs, looking for food to put into a mouth that didn't exist any more.

Words cannot express the guilt I felt when I woke up. Norm is going to get some new toys this weekend. Also, I think my brain may be telling me never to have children.

Then last night I had another weird dream.

(I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those marshmallows so close to bedtime, but I was watching MFC play GTA IV and he kept taking Michelle on dates to this diner, which was making me hungry.

By the way, how funny is the dialogue in the "Hot Coffee" scenes? Every time his character encountered a new female, I would say, "Ooh, can you take her on a date and then ask to go to her apartment for coffee?" and he was going, "Ew, no.")

Anyway, yes, dream. My dream was about how I purchased some land in a new development for $10,000 (AUD). I was looking at the 3D presentation and it was very lush and green, forest, mountains, lakes, that kind of thing. After I'd signed on the dotted line, the real estate agent said, "And you won't mind having the elves in sector 12, will you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Just over here," and she points to this little section where little people in Peter Pan costumes bob up out of nowhere.

I then realise that I have just spent $10,000 (AUD) on some hokey VIRTUAL land in a Second Life-type game, and start freaking out, because I DO NOT HAVE $10,000 (AUD) and this land is crap and contaminated with elves (damn hippies who probably won't let me build any condos) and NOT REAL.

Luckily my 6.45 alarm went off.

I pressed the snooze button, and while I was snoozing, dreamt about dragging myself out of bed into the cold air, brushing my teeth, getting changed and was just leaving the bathroom when ... I woke up and it was 7.45.

I snoozed again, and dreamt about hauling myself out of bed and down the freezing corridor to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and then ... woke up and it was 8.15!

As I brushed my teeth for the third (well, first real) time, I felt very peeved.

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

wow those are some crazy dreams! that's one reason why i never eat before bed. i try to stop eating by 8pm.
(btw- dreams where you think you're up but you're not are sooo aggravating!) >_<