Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Privacy isn't Free

Hola!

I have put up a new post on my CNG blog about a yucky experience I had during the long weekend, and how paying for privacy sucks.

Go on, have a read. Someone called Geoffrey has already left a comment and five stars. What a champ!

If you would like to leave a nice comment (and if you do, you will immediately be appended to my hero list) please leave one under the actual post, and not here. Thank you!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Examples Of How I Have Wasted My Life, No. 1

Wow, I am on fire this week!

Only two days ago I was tearing my hair out and staring at an empty Notepad file, wishing that something interesting would happen so that I could write about it.

Then I realised that nothing that interesting was going to happen, so I might as well write anyway.

Click here to read about something mundane that I have transformed into really interesting reading*.

* If I say it often enough, someone might believe me.

You can scratch aquaculture off the job list

Oh dear. The last swordtail in my fish tank has died.

I got quite a fright when I lifted up the little manhole (fishhole?) cover in the tank's lid to sprinkle in some fish food. The corpse was floating directly beneath my fingers, its glassy eyes staring up at me.

Obviously Fate had conspired with the dead fish's soul to shave some fish years off my life (via heart-stoppage), as fitting retribution. This shadowy doubt became more concrete when I tried to flush The Body down the loo and it kept bobbing up again and making me shriek. In the end I called my sister, who said in a know-it-all tone, "Don't you know that you have to stuff some toilet paper on top of it first?"

On the bright side, I suppose I should be glad the haunted castle hadn't claimed another victim.

Now there are only three little tetras left in the tank. And considering how inbred and fragile the little tykes are, they probably won't last that long either.

Bother. Perhaps I should stick to growing plants. Or Sea Monkeys.

Or plastic divers.

Update (11.02pm): MFC has just sent me an e-mail.

Eww... you know, you're not meant to flush fish. Lazy people do that. Just bury them next time.


I have been chastised.

Truthfully, it did occur to me to bury The Body. Of course, this thought did not emerge until after the second flushing. I think it was my limbs blocking the message to my brain, because the lazy sods cannot be bothered walking the three steps from the fish tank to the front door, and then unlocking the five thousand bolts and deadlocks my parents have installed.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Fooled By The Colour Green

I've put a new post up at the Community Newspaper web site.

It's a rehash of my anti-polypropylene bag post, but also includes an interesting experience I had with a "natural" hair dye. Please click here to read it if you're feeling charitable.

If you would like to leave a comment, and I really hope you do, please leave one under the actual post, and not here. Hopefully I'll end up looking like the popular kid (hee). Thank you!

Ego-stroking

"Sweetie!" I cry as I bound into the house. "You'll never believe what happened to me tonight!"

MFC is looking at XBox accessories on the Internet. He turns and smiles at me encouragingly.

"Someone chatted me up at the pub!"

Understandably, his eyes start to roll towards the heavens, while I continue my story excitedly.

"I had dinner with Neville* at the pub tonight, and then he went to the loo, and while I was waiting for him near the bar, this good-looking guy in a green t-shirt came up to me and said, 'How's your evening been, gorgeous?'"

"SIGH," sighs MFC (and perhaps you too, gentle readers).

But you know what? I'm sitting here all mellow with a Bailey's in my hand, I've found a new, very funny, very well-written blog to read, my belly is full of Irish pork sausage and mash, and a young, good-looking guy thought I was hot, even though I had no make-up on, my hair was tied up in a pony-tail, and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

Life is good.

* Not his real name. "Neville" is an old friend from Uni.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Is It That Time Already?

Would you guys like a little break from all the travel blogging?

Was that a resounding "meh" I heard?

Well, there's a new post on my CNG blog! Click here to read about my upcoming 15 year high school reunion. (Yes, yes, do the maths and laugh it up, people.)