Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Yep, getting old.

I was on a train today. Unfortunately, so were all the school kids in Perth.

Ah, teenage youth, full of arrogance and angst.

And B.O.

How I wish I had had a cone of silence and some deodorant to spray around.

Things that irritated me:

- Skirts that were so short I felt like a mobile gynaecologist service. Seriously, honey, is that skirt short enough for you? I can't quite see your uterus but I can make a good guess about the interior decorating!

- Boys being loud and stupid. Once a kid threw an orange in my direction and nearly hit me. I should have tanned his hide with my extra large golf umbrella.

- Teenagers owning tiny, expensive mobile phones that make mine look like a giant plastic Duplo(TM) toy.

- Emos who think they are different from everyone else, when, actually, they're not. Wearing black all the time just makes you part of another herd of sheep. A herd that gets very warm in summer. Unfortunately, not warm enough to make you extinct.

- A not-too-small-herself girl who stared at a large man at the other end of the carriage and said loudly, "I hope I never get that fat," while shoving a sandwich down her maw.

- Aforementioned girl pointing the finger at other people, when she has a moustache AND eyebrows so thick, that, if I were her, I would wear a very large hat outdoors so that birds don't swoop me looking for delicious, fuzzy caterpillars.

- Same girl sitting with her legs wide open (a sign of things to come?), and then pointing (doesn't she know it's rude to point?) and yelling out the window because she saw her friends in another train carriage (tiny brain?).

Grandma out.


Juliness said...

Oh boy - I feel your pain on this one. Every single sentence had me nodding vigorously and saying, "Yes, I know EXACTLY what she means."

I guess I am old too.

Oh and, tag!

Blandwagon said...

Wearing black all the time just makes you part of another herd of sheep. A herd that gets very warm in summer.

Hence the BO. The only thing worse than an emo is a stinky emo.

Genevieve said...

haha i feel the same way about kids. and is it just me or do they look REALLY young? some kid will look like they're 12 but be 16 or 17. what? when did that happen? it's creepy and weird. especially when these kids are wearing their hooker outfits. lolita, anyone?