Sunday, July 22, 2007

Send out the clowns

I don't understand why clowns are still as popular as they are.

I can't stand them. Even as an elevated art form in Cirque du Soleil, where they did some arty version of walking against the wind (well, against some kind of paper blizzard), I just wished the whole lot of them would freeze in the snow storm and not be found until spring, preferably by hungry bears attracted to the glow of their red noses.

They're like the mean kids in primary school. You know, the ones who would pull a chair away just when someone was about to sit down, or put a thumb-tack (or as I once witnessed, hold up a SHARPENED PENCIL) on other people's chairs, or lead the laughter when someone dropped their lunch tray in the canteen.

I never laughed. I don't think pain and/or humiliation are funny*, which is what a lot of clowning seems to be about.

Seriously, have you EVER spoken to anyone who has said, "Oh, the most happy childhood memory I have is of the time I went to the circus to see the clowns! Mmm, I use that memory as my happy place!"

If you are a clown, or know someone who is a clown, my deepest apologies for your unfortunate circumstances.

* Unless applied to Bjork (I can't even be bothered looking up the HTML code for the accent on the 'o') or Keira Knightley.


Thanners said...

Always with the Björk and Keira Knighley hate. (c:

But yer, clowns are a bit freaky. I never really "got" them, and I'm sure one of my relatives used to be scared of them.. Not really surprised. Even the happy ones are a bit freaky.

genevieve said...

who the crap likes clowns? they've been a source of nightmares for me since i was a very small child.

an9ie said...

Yes Thanners, my hatred for them is pure and full of darkness. I don't wish for anything horrible to happen to them. I just want Bjeuurk to never make another album and also withdraw everything she's ever recorded form the public domain, and for Keira to become very fat and to stop making movies. Is that too much to ask?

Gen - I don't know,. But the damn things never die! Not even in the movies!

Anonymous said...

Never liked clowns myself either. But I still can't help laughing at other people's (and my own), little accidents - provided there is no serious injury. For instance, when I was about 10 yo my brother and his mate who are a couple of years older than me, were impressing everyone with their 'on demand' farts. Then Gerard pushed a bit too hard and followed through! How could you not laugh at that? Or what about the woman who walks out the loo with her dress tucked into her pantyhose at the back? Or the person who stumbles then looks up to see if anyone saw them? You have to laugh! Jaymez