Monday, July 16, 2007

Conversations with my sister

Ring-ring.

an9ie:
Hello, this is Angie.

Sister:
Gee*, it's me. Do you want a mouse?

an9ie:
Do I want a what?

Sister:
A mouse. M** found it today outside the house. A pet mouse. I've been round and asked all the neighbours, but it doesn't belong to any of them.

an9ie:
How do you know it's a pet mouse?

Sister:
It was just sitting there and he picked it up. It's white with brown patches and a silver streak. M's named it Barry.

an9ie:
Um, no. No thank you, I don't want a pet mouse.

Sister: Because if you don't, M will have to smash its head in, or I'll take it to the pet shop.

an9ie: (Oh, great, now I'm going to be a murderer.) What? Why can't you just let it roam free with the other mice, outside?

Sister: I'm not having mice wandering around outside my house!

==============================

Then there was the time she called to ask me what to have for lunch.

Ring-ring.

an9ie:
Hello, this is Angie.

Sister:
Gee, it's me. Do I like pork or fish?

an9ie: Gawd, I don't know ... Don't you know?

Sister: I'm at that Japanese restaurant, the one you like, and I want to know if I should order the pork or the fish.

an9ie: Sigh. Do you feel like pork or do you feel like fish?

I don't have the strength to type out the rest of the conversation except that it went round and round along the same lines until I got annoyed and said I had to go because my shoes were on fire. Or something like that.

Epilogue to mouse story:
It's OK, she took Barry to the pet shop today.

* "Gee" is what my sister calls me. I'll bet you thought she just started every conversation with "gee", eh?
* M is my sister's hubby.

7 comments:

Juliness said...

Love this post! Aren't family dynamics great?

Can I use the "shoes on fire" excuse too?

an9ie said...

My mother and sister call me every day with such gems. Sigh.

Can I use the "shoes on fire" excuse too?

Please, go crazy with it! What good's a good excuse if you can't share it with friends?

I also like (from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion): "Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood," followed by you limping away.

Try it at parties, kids!

Libragirl said...

I am so using the my shoe is on fire line. Love that.

Blandwagon said...

Maybe the mouse got lost looking for the Mouse Party?

Thanners said...

“Shoes are on fire”? That's great (c:

Reminds me vaguely of some Lily Allen song, in which she says, "Sorry I have to go, my house is on fire." Or something like that.

genevieve said...

lol i love the "my shoes are on fire" excuse. if i tried that with, say, my mom she would want to know WHY, though.

my mom is bizarre. she calls me on my cell which has a picture of her and says MOM CELL & she ALWAYS answers my "hello?" with "gennie? (family nickname) this is your mother!" to which i always respond, "yes mom, i know. it says MOM CELL and the picture of you at Christmas with the ridiculous hat on comes up when you call."

an9ie said...

Libragirl - give it a go. And like I said, there's always the shoe filling up with blood one as a fallback :)

Blanders - Continuity! I love it!

Thanners - I really need to build up a good store of "I have to go now" lines.

Gen - Hahaha! Mums are weird like that. Although my Mum's voice is incredibly distinctive (to me), she always goes, "Angie? It's Mum," followed by, "I'm at the shops. Bananas are cheap, you want some bananas?" "No thank you." "Avocados? How about some avocados?" Sigh.