Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Don't look at me like that


This will be a bit of a quick post because I am very tired and dying to get to bed. Tonight I went to Week 2 of, and I almost hesitate to write it here, a beginner's pole dancing course*.

Yes, har de har. But I staunchly maintain that at least I'm going to the nice school, and not the naughty one.

The tenuous distinction between these two schools, or groves of Academe, if you will, is that, at the one I'm going to, you can just wear your normal gym gear and go barefoot, whereas at the other one you are requested to wear tiny shorts and chunky heels to class, and there is a "graduation" at the end of each level, to which you can invite friends and family to watch. So even if you don't feel like inviting your Mum and Dad along to see you spread-eagle your legs in mid-air, you know someone else's parents and friends will be there, watching those seldom-ventilated areas getting a walk in the park.

There's a little too much Ew-factor in that for me.

The naughty school has a more professional emphasis, they have five different difficulty levels, whereas the nice one only has four**. Certainly go to the former if you would like to be trained for the industry, because they're extremely accomplished and polished at what they do, whereas the one I'm going to treats pole-dancing like more of a fitness adjunct, and integrates it into dance and aerobics classes. Instructors at both are lovely people and very talented, I know and am told.

I'm enjoying the lessons a lot. It's a lot of fun in a casual girly atmosphere, and I'm finally getting some flexibility in my lower back, which has been plaguing me with stiff muscles and pain for the past five years. And don't worry, I'm still going to Hip Hop :)

Anyway, the long and short of it is, I am exhausted. Damn muscles that only cavemen used. Honestly, you'd think we'd evolve a little faster into sitting office drones.

MFC thinks it is all rather sordid. A few weeks ago someone from the naughty school invited me to special lap-dancing lessons that the school was holding for Valentine's Day. I didn't have any intention of going (it didn't sound terribly exciting and I was trying to save money), but I brought it up with MFC, just to see his reaction.

He exclaimed with mock delight, "Why, YES! I would love for my girlfriend to learn to dance like a [insert bad name for bad women here]!"

And then a few weeks later we were talking about lap-dancing and lessons again, and MFC said, "I don't know, it all seems kind of seedy to me, like paying someone to teach you how to give a blow job."

So, his opinions on the matter are quite clear, eh?

* This reluctance stems from the fact that: a) I was making fun of people who took pole-dancing classes not that long ago, and b) last year I gave MFC a t-shirt which has a silhouette of a pole-dancer on it that says, "Support a stripper's college fund - one dollar at a time!" He gets compliments on whenever he goes anywhere remotely geeky like Electronics Boutique or Game Traders. Actually, I'm not sure if b) is that relevant but I thought I'd stick it in there anyway :)

** Bear in mind, that although I use the terms "naughty" and "nice" to differentiate between the two, ahem, institutions, in this day and age, the terms are largely interchangeable.


Blandwagon said...

A few weeks ago someone from the naughty school invited me to special lap-dancing lessons that the school was holding for Valentine's Day.

And why not? Heck, there's nothing more romantic than having a stripper grind herself into your crotch. It's right up there with freshly-cut roses and candlelit dinners.

Anonymous said...

I've seen some pole dancers do some amazing things i.e. appearing to somersault UP a pole all the way to the roof, and spiderman down again.

Agility, flexibility, and strength. I'm sure you can get the same thing from doing some martial arts - and that way you get to kick ass instead of exposing it ;)

<3 RaZeR

an9ie said...

Blanders - Yeah, I think this was what MFC thought as well. I would have been similarly appalled if HE'D taken stripping lessons for V-Day (which we celebrated by doing nothing i.e. watching TV and eating pizza :)

Raz - I have actually done a few different martial arts (karate, tae kwon do, hapkido, kendo), and the copiuos sweating and dirty feet are what put me off (yeah, I am a dirt wimp ;). There's also a large all-or-nothing component with martial arts, you really have to devote yourself to it, going at least four times a week (in my case esp. with kendo), and I haven't got the time for that at the moment. PD is quite fun, and as soon as I finish this course I can take the weekly aerobics and dance classes, which is what I'm looking forward to.

And I'm not exposing my ass to anyone outside of class! No way Jose!

girl and dog said...

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to learn to pole dance! To swing with grace dressed in nothing but a bikini (or less) is my (and my boyfriend's) idea of fun.

OK, one thing is an emotionless stripper doing it for the money. Yuck. But you doing it for the man you love is AWESOME!

I cannot believe your guy doesn't want you to learn pole and lap dancing! Have you taken his temperature lately? I stripped for my man as a Christmas treat (with the Santa hat, etc.) and his head near exploted from the excitement!

an9ie said...

Are there any classes in your area, girl? Because they really are a lot of fun! I don't think MFC would mind impromptu stuff, but he has very strong ideas about what is and isn't appropriate, and the fact that you pay money to learn something tied closely to the sex industry is what he finds distasteful, I think. He doesn't give me hassle over it, though, he's happy if I'm happy, and he knows he can trust me to look after myself.

Anonymous said...

yes, I've chatted to an9ies MFC in the past about the subject, and he associates it with the end goal: pole dancing professionally -
which you only ever get to do in strip clubs. Hence, I can understand his feelings when he sees his friends doing such things, as he doesn't want to see them working in such a place.

I don't think an9ies MFC has even set eyes on this blog too ;)

<3 RaZeR

an9ie said...

The trouble is we know someone who is head-over-heels in love with PD (nothing wrong with that) who has not only performed in public, but has now confessed that it is definitely a career option that she would consider :\

And Raz, he knows about the blog, but he has no intention of ever reading it, because it would just be "too weird" :)

Juliness said...

Anything where you can have fun while getting a great workout is aces in my book. Besides, it's always fun to try new things, right? Good for you lady!