Monday, January 08, 2007

New Year's Resolutions

Yes, I have a whole stack of good ones somewhere, but I figure I'll just Nike them, you know. I'll just try and do them, as often as I can and as well as I can without thinking about it too much. Because thinking too much is the surest way for me to put them up on this crazy pedestal that makes me cringe, thinking, no way can I do all that, it looks so hard, I don't have enough time/money/talent and why do I think I even deserve that kind of success?

So...I shall just do them. And then they shall be done. And lo, I can say to myself, See, crazy lady? You did that thing after all, so what was all the bitching and whining about? Eh? Eh? Hey! You look at me when I'm talking to you! Shouting? I'm not shouting, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S SHOUTING!

However, in the spirit of the New Year, I thought it would be cool to have some lame half-arsed resolutions that even I could keep, and here they are:

1) Be able to drink more than 10mls of alcohol without turning bright red, becoming sleepy, getting a migraine, and having my sinuses swell up. I shall start on the three bottles of Midori that await in the kitchen, chipping away at them with a sparkling mineral water mixer, until I OVERCOME this ridiculous teetotal state. Baileys is also allowed, mmm, yummy Baileys, but not too often because of the unfortunate bloating...lactose intolerance, remember? Ooh, I'm experiencing motion-sickness just thinking about it.

2) Buy only one bad food item per grocery shopping expedition.

3) Draw more pictures of dachshunds.

Hooray for resolutions!

2 comments:

tfp said...

Heheh. I never bother with resolutions myself.

Only one bad food item per shopping expedition? Depends what you think is bad, hey? :) I'd be like "Nooooo, SPAM is good! Excellent, actually! And Maggi noodles are good! They're so easy to cook! And Tasty Jack's crisps are also good!" LOL

an9ie said...

Hmm, I'll clarify that to be chips, chocolate, and anything where 1 serving = 2/3 of my daily calorific food needs. So, instead of KitKats AND Shortbread Creams, it'll be KitKats OR Shortbread Creams, geddit? Seriously, I think I've had too much sugar these holidays, my glucose level seems to go down mid-afternoon and I turn into a morose(r) hag :)