Friday, December 15, 2006

Designing a new blog

Hmm, almost two weeks since I proudly announced that I was thinking of changing the look of my blog (to the sound of one juliness cheering :). And still, nada. But I have been trying, you know. I tried one hot Saturday until CSS reduced me to tears. I tried last Sunday but couldn't settle on what I wanted (or thought I wanted).

It's hard, thinking of a new banner and style. Also, I'm not sure if my blog fits in anywhere, really. It's not a craft blog or an art blog or a deep thoughts blog or a "I'm chronicling my journey to success" blog. There's a lot of shite in it. Sometimes I put in photos of things that catch my fancy, sometimes I post drawings I've made (and when I do, I feel as proud and exhausted as someone who's just given birth to seventeen dalmations). Sometimes I write down funny things I've heard or seen, even though they may be crass (and I like going back and reading them to have a chuckle).

Sometimes I can't stand the world and other human beings, and wish I lived on an island populated solely by robots and dachshunds (the robots can clean up the dachshund poop).

Sometimes I feel enlightened and love the universe and everyone in it. And I blog about those moments too. (As an aside, if you tend to leave self-righteous comments (and I hope none of you do, because you are all lovely people) on people's blogs about how they shouldn't be picky and critical, and how it's wrong to judge people, think about how that person might have felt at the time. They might have felt completely different three minutes after, but still needed to get the bad stuff out of their system. Think about how that negative feedback might have stood out against a sea of positive feedback and clouded their day. Remember that we're all flawed, funny humans. And remember I said that the next time I have a rant about someone/thing that annoyed me :)

My dream blog would be Alicia Paulson's Posie Gets Cozy, and I don't think I'd be wrong if I said about five thousand other people in the blogosphere coveted it as well. Alicia is incredibly creative and smart and cheerful and kind. She has the cutest dog in the world, and the best husband, a tender, witty chap named Andy Paulson. She takes beautiful, warm photos that make you feel wistful and yes, cosy, usually of the inside of her enchanting house, or of the sweet, clever things she makes by hand.

However, I'm not sure I can have a blog like that, because I'm not a good or nice person. Well, not all the time. I have tried, and it's not impossible, but I have a lot of fun being a beyatch, too. Sometimes so much fun it should be illegal. Especially when Nicky's in town.

And so I can't have a nice banner in pink with pictures of lovely knick-knacks, no matter how much I want one, because from time to time I'll have a grump and talk about throwing people who don't use deoderant into a giant steamer full of pine needles, and that would be false advertising.

People would say:
"Hey! Your banner looks so nice but your heart is black and full of hate!", or
"I thought this was a nice child-safe blog about pixies but now I see that you're one of Beelzebub's handmaidens!"

And I can't write like this (actually, I haven't met anyone who does write like this, but then again, I am exaggerating):
"Hello darlings! It's me, Angie. It's a lovely day in Perth and I love, love, love everything and everyone. Today I looked around my pretty house and thought, I love what I've done with it..."

I just can't. For one thing, I would feel insincere calling people I barely know, "darlings". MFC is lucky to get a "darling" out of me, and only when chocolate and pastries are involved. For another, my life is full of half-finished projects and little petty dislikes. Even when the weather is perfect I'll find something to grump about. I wish I had better eyes, teeth, skin, perkier boobs, a huge trust fund, a country cottage, a dachshund ranch, a time machine...

Sometimes I wonder if I should only put positive, uplifting things on my blog, so that every day I can be thankful for something, and infuse my life with wonder and magic.

But then something shitty happens and I really need to rant about it. I might as well flush the magic down the toilet then. Or someone infuriates me and I vent about them (I find this nice and cleansingly cathartic*).

What I put on the blog is how I feel, right at that moment. I try not to be boring but sometimes I might be, because it's tiring being interesting all the time.

I think I'll just be Angie.

* Tautology alert!


tfp said...

I also have pondered about posting only the positive/happy/uplifting/non-controversial/non-shitty things that happen. I read and do enjoy a couple of blogs like that, but I often think "Is she/he really so nice all the time?" "Is her/his life so bloody perfect?" I think it is a good idea to just be Angie and include all the rants and shitty things. And don't worry about being interesting all the time - I think your being frank and genuine is what makes your writing interesting reading.

an9ie said...

You're too kind, tfp. Thank you for the encouragement :) Here's to us showing our warts and all to the world!