Monday, November 20, 2006

Spam titles

Like everyone else's Inbox, mine fills up daily with spam about stocks to buy, cheap Viagra, Russian brides, and how to increase the volume of my sperm. Sigh. You'd think that these mass marketing engines would at least do some research and know that I'm a boringly straight female (this applies to all the above, except the stock market*, which I love :)

Nowadays, rather than having the subjects "Re: Hi" and "A message from Bob", they're trying to entice us to read their mailings with random words cobbled together from dictionaries. Gosh, those wily spam bots!

Usually, going through my e-mail is an RSI-inducing exercise of Right-Click - Junk E-mail - Add Sender to Blocked Senders List - Repeat Until You Don't See Any More Messages About Horses And Their Horny Teenage Mistresses, but today, today, I got some messages with poetic, almost lyrical Subject headings.

Like "unfurl".

And "delapidated envisage".

I can just see a lonely little bot in the queue, and while his brothers next to him are furiously putting together nonsense words and getting their quotas up, he's tentatively picking and choosing the words that will express the creative feelings in his CPU. A little kind of "Ahhh" smile appears on his face when he finds his little one or two word poem, and then he sets it free into the ether, so people like me will pause, and ponder those words for a few seconds before deleting the message that follows.
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And then they'll become sentient and kill us all! Waaah! Why did I watch the Animatrix?

* Although when I contemplate my bland diet and dusty floors, the Russian brides start looking mighty appealing...

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