Wednesday, October 25, 2006

"Real" vampires

A- ha! A-HAHAHAHAHAAA - this is the first time something on 43 Things has cracked me up :D

Note: Some posts and profiles on 43 Things can take ages to load. So I've included copies of the funniest bits in this post.

Check this out. It caught my eye when I was updating my profile at 43 Things. Hee hee - those emos say the darndest things! Hey, I was one myself in high school (except emos didn't exist back in the old days, so I was just a sad freak) and am therefore allowed to laugh at them from my position of omniscient old age :p

I think I read somewhere on Maddox's site that if there are real vampires, then there should be real vampire hunters. I fully agree. In fact, he'll have my vote if he ever decides to push that Anti-vampire bill through parliament.

The excerpt on vampire hunting comes from his article "Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Me neither."

So, anyway, according to 43 Things (as of October 25th, 2006), 16 people have become vampires and there are 211 who have yet to reach this goal.

Here is a recent whinepost from a wannabe, "Untitled — 4 days ago":

"i think it is absolutly rediculus that we have 208 people on this site that want to become a vampire but no one is helping each other reach that goal. the reason for that may be that not many actual vampires are on this site but i know there are a few. even if there were not any vampires on this site other people have contacts to them and could ask them to help. no one is ever talking to anyone or responding to their entries. on the werewolf site they are always talking to people and always helping eachother. i do not see why we cannot work together and try to help people who are just as, or more lost than we are."
You selfish vampires! The people on the werewolf forum are way nicer and willing to share their cursed lycanthropic blood! Ugly gross werewolves are going to over-run the planet instead of sexy svelte vampires!

Actually my friends at Uni shared a History class with some dude who thought he was a werewolf. He talked about going out and howling at the moon once a month. Gleesh.

43 Things also has this to report:
People doing this are also doing these things:
- Go to a My Chemical Romamce's Concert
- have a credit card
- see mikey and frank kiss
So I think I can say, that the odds of them being official losers sad people who need lots of cheering up are about 99.9 to 1.

This person reckons they've done it.*
This one finds it very lonely and would like to contact other vampires living in the Michigan area.
I think this guy is just taking the piss... I like him, he has a sense of humour. When I become a vampire hunter and start dusting these poor sad people, I'll leave him off my list :)

* In fact he made the following post on 43 Things, which I shall include here verbatim. Unfortunately it appears that becoming a vampire does not automatically improve your grammar and spelling. Never mind, he has centuries to make it up, or maybe he could suck on a few English professors instead...
vampirism — 3 months ago
vampirism is not all its cracked up to be.
but if you insist…...i would first suggest that you research vampires and seperate fact from fiction.
next you should find a vampire{there is always one in every community} and find out what his point of view is on “turning”. if he is for it ask if he will turn you. if he is against it LEAVE!!!!!!!!! if you persist and they are against it, they will kill you.
base facts about vampires: 1. we can survive in sunlight, if only for a few hours. 2. we arent repeled by garlic or any other item. 3. we are vunerable to many earthly weapons{i.e. GUNS} not fire though. (And knives...like, like humans! Can it be? bahahaha! - an9ie) 4. we do heal at an accelerated rate. 5. we age at 1/100 of the human rate{i.e human 100, vampire 1}. 6. we DO NOT have to sleep in coffins.7.we are not pale skinned{in fact i have a nice tann going right now}.

down sides
1. strict feeding laws
2. staying in the sun too long give us wicked sunburn. (DUH - an9ie)
3. cant controll strength{one time i i spent an entire evening tring to move a couch to the right spot and kept over shooting it by a couple of yards. (Yes. Super...um...strength. If he's so strong, why couldn't he just lift the couch above his head and put it in the right place? - me again)
4. living to long is really a curse. (It is the English language who will be cursed! Cursed and butchered by your horrible grammar and spelling! - hi-ho!)
5. you see to much tragedy. (Sigh, I've seen enough already - me)
6.we are not immortal, we just heal quick.{ive been hit by a big rig twice. i was in the hospital for five hours}

but also if you dont like the taste of salt water dont try to become a vampire{blood tastes like salt water, yeah i know its gross}.
of coarse you could spend massive amounts of money on that new blood plasm stuff.

ps donot reply if you havent done youre research!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I've met one of these people. I'm pretty sure he does it to get attention. He's also gay, and has probably got a sex change by now. Some very confused people out there.

- RaZeR

ur_secret_luver14 said...

hey what is the lyken site? i am a lyken {werewolf} and i don't like that this site calls us "ugly creatures" i was born that way so i can't help it...so email me and tell me the lyken site so i can talk to my "own" kind its ur_secret_luver14@yahoo.com please feel free to send me a message....i WANT to know..and another thing i do not like these vampire and lyken hunters thats so gay because just because were not what you call "normal" dosent mean you cave too run and kill us!!! well email me and tell me stuff