Monday, September 25, 2006

So SIAN

So I've been feeling a little, ah, let me resort to Hokkien for this, sian*. I suppose you could translate this into feeling bored and listless, having a general sense of ennui. Interestingly, the Wikipedia description includes a definition of ennui as "different from boredom in that ennui describes weariness or annoyance over a long period of time; boredom is relieved easily, while ennui is constant". Yay.

I told one of my housemates about this, and he said, yes, he'd been feeling it too, and it's probably been brought on by the latest house move, disruption to our regular lifestyle, having to settle in again and so forth.

Yes indeed, for those who didn't know, we have moved house lately. The old landlords sold the property to some cibai (if you want to know what this means, look it up in urban dictionary) moneybags real estate agents (both husband and wife, and probably little Junior too, Justin help us all). I say that because they lied (misled is probably a better word, but from all accounts they LIED) to my old housemates that we could all stay on after the house had been sold, and then immediately went to the sellers that evening and said that they wanted a quick settlement and the tenants had to be out in a month. Chau cibai been real estate agents! I wouldn't trust them as far as I could drown them in a pit of lime using grappling hooks.

Hmm, anyway, before I was distracted...

... ah yes, this general feeling of sian-ness, I suppose we should count our blessings, I mean, imagine how people who have to work 7 days a week to feed their five children feel**, or starving people in Africa, or patients with terminal diseases. They would probably kill to be me, feeling all sian here with my full belly, air-conditioned desk job, futon bed, and unlimited access to high GI foods.

But I can't help it, I have all these grand plans of where I would like to be, working for myself, enjoying every day, instead of just looking forward to the weekend. And when the weekend has come and gone, I lament all the things I could have done and didn't, like working on my website/blog/novel/abs/drawings/baking/greeting cards/plans to rule the world/web-comics. I find that, instead, I've spent my time staying indoors, playing DOTA or reading or eating baked goods***.

Anyway, to quote Yoda, "Do or do not. There is no try." I did enjoy myself this weekend, eating and reading and playing DOTA (although I kept dying because I would get distracted and do something silly like look for the secret shop on the map and get killed because I've left my hero unattended). Perhaps there is a way to do this and still get paid. What's that you say? Disability pension? Get knocked up and say I don't know who the father is? Or both? Heeheehee!

* Pronunciation: see-yen run together, for all the non-Hokkien speakers. And believe it or not, I looked at three different shades of brown, and chose the final one because the other two shades looked too interesting :P

** Actually if they had any smarts they would all be on the dole, because the payments you get with 5 kiddies make it seem silly to break your back working for cash.

***Although I did pay for these in suffering, and let me just say fibre is boring, but bl**dy necessary to your diet. Hmm, a while ago my Mum made chocolate bran balls (like cornflake crispies, but with bran and chocolate instead), and also you can hide bran quite successfully in cakes... Another baking side-project methinks.

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