Tuesday, September 26, 2006

DotA Rage - I should probably get off the ride now

So there's a group of people I sometimes play DotA with. I play it with them maybe once a fortnight, and I started playing because my friends were, and it seemed a fun (and addictive) way to interact with everybody. Mostly I like playing different characters and trying them out, and I bumble along, occasionally dying needlessly while I try to find the secret shop on the map, and trying to beat the computer.

What I don't like, is when we're forced to split into teams and play each other, either because there's too many of us to fit onto one team, or someone wants to make it more "challenging". And then things, to me, start getting ugly and not a lot of fun.

I guess the main thing is, that for you to win, someone else has to lose. I just don't like that. Someone has to feel bad for you to feel good. And vice versa. Perhaps I feel this way because I get to be on the losing end a lot - I don't play it religiously and I don't study tactics guides like they're the lost testament of Huggy Bear.

People will say, "Well, that's your problem" and that if something doesn't kill you it makes you stronger, it'll spur you on to do better next time, blah.

Well no, it makes me see the dark side of people I call my friends, and it makes me feel crap, and even if I get a hero kill on someone and I feel initially euphoric, there is still a small seed of crap in there as well. Because I've "killed" a person and not the computer. And hero kills involve chasing someone down, trapping or stunning them, and repeatedly injuring them. Maybe I'm just a bit too soft-hearted for it all.

Also, when someone dies, and you're playing in the same room with them, they get quite violent, and swear, and even hit things. I greatly dislike raised voices and open displays of anger, perhaps because I was raised in a culture where it was OK for adults to hit kids, and I tend to associate those two things with violence and hurt.

I'm not the only one that feels like this, someone I talked to said he felt like stopping because he was having fun playing his game, and then his teammate started getting shirty with him because he wasn't fully focused on annihilating the other team and being aggressive enough.

Sometimes I think that DotA should stand for "Drones on Testosterone Anger".

I do not play DotA all day everyday. I don't play it enough to get good, and I don't want to, because then I would stop enjoying it. To me it's like a book that I've read halfway, put down, and then picked up again to liven up a dull moment.

I can be competitive, but if two and a half years of kendo has taught me anything, it's that there's always going to be someone better than you, and someone worse than you. Always.

One day you'll beat the University Games champion 2 - 0 (EHEHEHEHEHEEE!) and then the next you draw a match with some white belt (bleah). So really the only person you can be sure of competing against constantly, and the only person who wins when you win, is yourself.

So now the guys are talking about serious matches, forming teams and who is going to play what role, and taking on another team and kicking their arses. They played against a group of people on the weekend (and in my mind I can see this group of people being some extremely kiasu mob) and lost, and want to take them on again. I know I'm probably the weakest link, but it saddens me that I can't play with them for fun anymore.


Anonymous said...


well said. I also prefer co-operative games - as I find it more fun to co-operatively fight a common foe (that isn't your friend and is preferbally a Artificial Intelligence). For RTS games anyway that is. FPS games is a different matter because less time is spent building up your character.

I have also found similar aspects about Capoeira that you have mentioned about Kendo, and agree thoroughly.

Show us more goodies with your tablet!


an9ie said...

How neat! I expected any comments for this entry to be of the "suck it up and stop being a girl" variety. How refreshing to find that someone whose opinion I respect agrees with me!
:D :D :D