Monday, June 26, 2006

Internet reviews of...PEOPLE!

I've been doing some pretty intense research on digital cameras of the 6x optical zoom variety, and at first my heart was set on a Panasonic, but then after reading numerous reviews, I decided that a Canon would be a better option.

Internet reviews in places like Amazon and are fantastic. You get to hear from professionals and amateurs alike who have already tried the product, and had their lives scarred, or alternatively, ameliorated by product X.

Just imagine if these reviews could be used on people. Such as...

"All in all, Phineas would be a great date if you like hanging around furtively in parks trying not to sit on dog poo. He is also incredibly cheap, so you should eat dinner before going out to avoid passing out from low blood sugar. His entertaining conversation does make up for the lack of physical amenities, until you realise it's a load of avoidant narcissistic bull." See? Imagine how much easier that would make life for girls in the future if they encountered poor old Phineas.

"Tahlia wears skinny jeans (and therefore risks a nasty case of thrush) because they are in fashion, and this should really tell you more than you need to know about her. She will ignore you if she sees you at a party, unless you are speaking with someone she wishes to impress. By all means avoid this personality, unless your blood pressure has been a little low lately and you wish to elevate it to alarming levels."

I wouldn't escape, I'm sure, but I'm hoping reviews would be mixed...

"Upon your first encounter, Angie may come across as an aloof snobby ice queen, but if you are a nice person who is not a moron, and can hold your own in an intelligent conversation without being overly bitchy, you will find that her barbed-wire exterior hides a genuinely OK person who just can't stand idiots. Try not to irritate her before mealtimes, as her temperament can be uncertain when her stomach is empty."


Yes, I know this blog isn't ladylike at all, considering my aspirations (see The Frugal Lady blog), but you know, it takes a few falls before you learn to walk!