Wednesday, April 20, 2005


For some reason, whenever I end up watching TV with my Mum and brother, reality shows seem to be on. Whether this is a testament to the volume of RTV out there, or just coincidence, I'm not sure.

(Actually I have a sneaking suspicion that, despite saying she's too busy and has no time to watch TV, it's actually my mother's secret vice. It's funny how she "happens" to turn the TV on just as a reality show starts.)

We're watching "For Love or Money", where the guy has to choose between the "girl of his dreams" and $1,000,000. The intro comes on and we're already yelling "Take the money! TAKE THE MONEY!"

I can't believe they're even deliberating the issue. Look, random dude, a) you do not meet your soulmate on a TV show, b) $1,000,000 can get you a lot of classy ass, c) the sleazy host might say, "You'll never see her again if you take the money," but how can he guarantee that? Does the FBI add them to the Federal Witness Relocation Program? Do they make the woman commit seppuku if the guy doesn't pick her? Is there a plastic surgeon with a Nigerian passport waiting in the dressing room? Come ooooon. If he likes her that much, he can use $20,000 of the prize money to hire a kick-arse P.I. to look for her. MORONS!

I become emotionally invested in these shows rather quickly. I don't know if you can tell.

The other night we were watching The Bachelor. Sometimes I watch it and think, hmm, so you've been single for a while eh? I wonder why ... not.

In the meantime, my Mum has remarked, "Haha! Look at his droopy left eye and large teeth!" Hmm, I think she was exaggerating about the eye, but ye gods he does have large teeth, and they've had the heck whitened out of them. It's like looking at Chiclets on an Omnimax screen.

Poor guy.

I think her favourite is The Apprentice, which I haven't watched much, except when I feel like gazing at Donald Trump's comb-over. The man is that rich, you'd think he'd be able to afford to have someone with similar hair killed discreetly and get a fresh scalp implant every six months.

Although this paints me as a complete peasant, I must say I was addicted to the first American series of Temptation Island. The blonde girl with the pigtails who made her boyfriend cry when he saw the video of her eating fruit off another man's erogenous zones? Pure gold.