Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Bratz dolls

Flipping through the latest Target catalogue (I like catalogues. I find them soothing) and ye gods, these horrible Bratz dolls are everywhere, with their bedroom eyes and slutty come-hither bee-stung lips.

Apparently there's a talking one available that says things like "Let's go out and meet boys!"

I wouldn't be surprised if the next batch of talking Bratz have gems like:

"Oh Mom, I need to go on the Pill for my skin." (Yeah, pull the other one kiddo. Why don't you just get pregnant instead? My dermatologist says that's great for the complexion. And at least it's honest. I mean, really, in Year 9 I was amazed at the number of girls in my year who were on the Pill for their "skin", or "irregular periods" a.k.a. David from Geography class. It's a wonder the town didn't have an epidemic of hermaphrodite sheep with really small genitals from all the hormones recycled into the water supply.)

"University degrees are for ugly girls!"

"Let's go Brazilian so boys will like us!"

OK, maybe that last one was a little far-fetched.

They are like ho' templates for little girls. Why are mothers buying these things for their daughters? I presume these are the same mothers who let their daughters leave the house looking like that. (You know what that means, do I have to spell it out? I know the guys love it, but can you spell J-A-I-L-B-A-I-T? Let's just say that with school holidays upon us, the shopping centres will be full of girls who look like they've been to a mass fluffer convention. "The Porn Recruitment Van's in town, everyone! Let's go audition!")